One experience that I have had where I had to be objective in the situation was a couple of years ago when I was a freshman living in the dorms. Before that, I had only shared a room one other time, but it was with my sister whom I was close to and naturally bickered with all the time. Going into the dorms I knew that it would be a hard transition especially knowing that I would be sharing a small room with a complete and total stranger. When I finally met my roommate, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. She wasn’t someone I would normally hang out with, but she was very nice and we got along well enough to live with one another.
I am the type of person who needs my room to be mostly clean and all of my school stuff and things in my desk to be organized, or it is impossible for me to function. I have to make sure I am organized for school, or I will drive myself crazy. My roommate knew that she was always more than welcome to use my things as long as she put them back and didn’t make a mess of things or disorganize it in any way. One day I ran back to my dorm room after class to finish a project that was due in couple of hours in my next class. When I went to my desk to get my markers, glue, and scissors, they were nowhere to be found. I was going crazy, not only because I was in a hurry, but because I knew that I had put my things back where they were supposed to go, and for some reason she felt the need to move them. I ended up going to a friend and using her supplies to finish my project, and when my roommate returned, I confronted her in the nicest way possible. I made sure I was calm and relaxed when she returned. I simply asked her, “Hey have you by any chance seen my markers, glue, and scissors?” Even though I knew she had borrowed them and not returned them, I did my best not to accuse her, but simply ask if she had seen them as though maybe by chance I was the one who misplaced them. Right away, her response was, “Oh yea! I had to use them today to do a project in the library! I forgot to tell you!” I did my best not to get mad because we had never had an argument before and although I was angry, I didn’t want to be the one to make our living situation awkward. I told her it was fine, but next time if she could let me know because I was panicking that I had to finish my project that was due that day, and all of my things were gone. She understood where I was coming from and apologized, and she never did it again.
In this situation, I had to confront a person I was not particularly close to or friends with, and also found it hard to because we lived together. And me, normally being one to speak my mind, especially when I’m mad, had to figure out a way to be objective and try to see her point of view. I did my best, and after, it actually seemed like we became a little closer and we were able to understand each other more that we were able to before.
This experience was productive because it taught me how to deal with many more situations that I would soon run into with future roommates who would actually be my really close friends. The next year I moved in with three of my best friends, and although we knew one another extremely well, we still ran into some little arguments and disagreements. I, of course, am not hesitant to call my friends out, because realistically, what are friends for? But every time something did pop up that I didn’t agree with, I made sure that when I did call them out, I went in with an objective mind just in case I was the one who was wrong. From this, I feel like I was closer with my roommates and I absolutely never felt awkward letting them know how I felt about certain things that bothered me. From these experiences, I learned that taking a step back and letting yourself understand that all people have different understandings of right and wrong and have different opinions overall, is a very productive way of being objective. Objectivity is the best way to avoid conflict and for me, mostly seemed to improve my relationships
