Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Roommate Love

One experience that I have had where I had to be objective in the situation was a couple of years ago when I was a freshman living in the dorms.  Before that, I had only shared a room one other time, but it was with my sister whom I was close to and naturally bickered with all the time.  Going into the dorms I knew that it would be a hard transition especially knowing that I would be sharing a small room with a complete and total stranger.  When I finally met my roommate, it wasn’t as bad as I thought.  She wasn’t someone I would normally hang out with, but she was very nice and we got along well enough to live with one another. 

I am the type of person who needs my room to be mostly clean and all of my school stuff and things in my desk to be organized, or it is impossible for me to function.  I have to make sure I am organized for school, or I will drive myself crazy.  My roommate knew that she was always more than welcome to use my things as long as she put them back and didn’t make a mess of things or disorganize it in any way.  One day I ran back to my dorm room after class to finish a project that was due in couple of hours in my next class.  When I went to my desk to get my markers, glue, and scissors, they were nowhere to be found.  I was going crazy, not only because I was in a hurry, but because I knew that I had put my things back where they were supposed to go, and for some reason she felt the need to move them.  I ended up going to a friend and using her supplies to finish my project, and when my roommate returned, I confronted her in the nicest way possible.  I made sure I was calm and relaxed when she returned.  I simply asked her, “Hey have you by any chance seen my markers, glue, and scissors?”  Even though I knew she had borrowed them and not returned them, I did my best not to accuse her, but simply ask if she had seen them as though maybe by chance I was the one who misplaced them.  Right away, her response was, “Oh yea! I had to use them today to do a project in the library! I forgot to tell you!”  I did my best not to get mad because we had never had an argument before and although I was angry, I didn’t want to be the one to make our living situation awkward.  I told her it was fine, but next time if she could let me know because I was panicking that I had to finish my project that was due that day, and all of my things were gone.  She understood where I was coming from and apologized, and she never did it again.

In this situation, I had to confront a person I was not particularly close to or friends with, and also found it hard to because we lived together.  And me, normally being one to speak my mind, especially when I’m mad, had to figure out a way to be objective and try to see her point of view.  I did my best, and after, it actually seemed like we became a little closer and we were able to understand each other more that we were able to before. 

This experience was productive because it taught me how to deal with many more situations that I would soon run into with future roommates who would actually be my really close friends.  The next year I moved in with three of my best friends, and although we knew one another extremely well, we still ran into some little arguments and disagreements.  I, of course, am not hesitant to call my friends out, because realistically, what are friends for?  But every time something did pop up that I didn’t agree with, I made sure that when I did call them out, I went in with an objective mind just in case I was the one who was wrong.  From this, I feel like I was closer with my roommates and I absolutely never felt awkward letting them know how I felt about certain things that bothered me.  From these experiences, I learned that taking a step back and letting yourself understand that all people have different understandings of right and wrong and have different opinions overall, is a very productive way of being objective.  Objectivity is the best way to avoid conflict and for me, mostly seemed to improve my relationships



Saturday, October 9, 2010

Let it Be

There are many songs that I find important and meaningful in my life; a lot of different songs that explain the way I feel throughout different chapters of my life.  In this chapter of my life, one song stands out to me and lately seems to help me get through my tough times.  This song is “Let it Be” by the Beatles.
            To me, songs are like soul mates.  My theory on soul mates is we have more than one person who fulfills a different part of our soul.  A soul mate can be a friend who is always there for us, or a person who comes into our life and fulfills a romantic or intimate part of our soul.  I believe that we have many different soul mates that fulfill our certain needs at certain times in our lives. In this same way, a song is like a soul mate.  Certain songs fulfill a particular need our life, and when that chapter of our life is over, a new song may come in and fulfill a new need.  Some songs stick, and some songs, we simply forget about.  In every chapter of our lives, we have different songs that make us feel better or let us release stress, anger, or sadness depending on the meaning of the song and the meaning of our lives at the time. 
            My soul mate song in this chapter of my life is “Let it be” by the Beatles.  This song is important to me because it helps to remember and understand that I cannot change everything, some things are just meant to be or not meant to be.  I recently got out of a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend since high school.  We were very close. He knew my family, I knew his. He knew all of my deepest secrets, and I knew his.  But of course, not everything is as perfect as it seems.  I found out he cheated on me, and being the person that I am, I forgave him and let him have a second chance.  But of course, a second chance was not good enough and the same thing went on and on, and finally, little nice me gave up and got tired of it.  When I first broke up with him, I kept going over and over in my head what I did wrong and asking myself why, and what I could have done better.  I guess I was just devastated, hurt, and confused.  Then, one day, I woke up, and I was just flat out angry.  During my angry phase, my dad and I went to visit my family, and he was playing music from his ipod.  “Let it be” came on, and all of a sudden, I felt so much better.  I was singing the words and actually listening to what they said and what they meant.   LET IT BE.  There is nothing I can do about it or say to make up for what he did.  The song has a line that says, “And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.”  This line is what made me feel content with myself and the place in my life where I stand right now.  Many things in my life are going to happen that will hurt me, but I cannot change everything, I have to learn to accept the things I cannot change.  There’s a reason for everything, and things happen for the better.  There will be an answer to my questions of why this happened to me, but for now, all I know is that I have to let it be.  The sadness and anger turn me into a person who I am not, a person that I do not like being.  So instead of being sad and angry, let it be. An answer will come soon enough, so for now, let it be. 
            “Let it Be” has helped me dance around this situation.  It still helps me every day to get through my life without being sad and angry.  I have a goal to reach the part of my life to where I wake up and think, “Wow, I haven’t thought about him in awhile!”  I want to get to that point in my life to where he is just some guy I dated for some time.  And as Alan Watts pointed out, we do not want to wake up one day, reaching our goal, but realizing that we passed up the beautiful and most meaningful parts of life to get there.  And for me, this song, helps me to get through every day without being sad, angry or bitter, and pushes me closer to my goal while also allowing me to feel content enough to not pass up the little things in life that make everyday worth living.  “Let it Be” keeps me confident in knowing that one day I will wake up and be proud of myself for being so strong and making it through this tough chapter in my life, but also keeps me confident in knowing that I will do this without looking back and wondering where my time has gone getting over this, because now I know, I am living my life to the fullest.  When things happen that impact our life so deeply, we always need to keep in mind, let it be.

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