Change

When I was fourteen years old, going into my sophomore year of high school, my dad received a job offer that essentially changed my life.  I had lived in Bakersfield, California all of my life.  My entire family still resides there, and when I saw entire, I mean everyone from my two older siblings, nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and close family friends.  My dad had traveled for his work and was sometimes gone for weeks at a time and as we, my siblings and I, got older, it became harder and harder for him to leave us.  He and my mom finally decided that he should quit this job and look for another with a different company, but shortly after giving his six month notice, his boss gave him a job offer he couldn’t resist.  He offered him a raise, a Vice President position of the company, and the best of all was that my dad wouldn’t have to travel nearly as often; all my dad had to do to make this offer work was move our family to East Bay area of California.  My parents decided this was the best decision for our family, and six months later, my parents, younger brother and I were on our way to San Ramon, which would become our new home.  My older siblings already had their own families and for this reason, they did not come with us.  I was devastated.  I had just finished my freshman year of high school and made new friends that I loved and had been so used to seeing my siblings, nieces and nephews, and grandparents on a daily basis, and my heart was broken. Soon after we had moved I began to have a re-occurring dream that always made me uneasy.  In this dream, I was in our house that we lived in while we were Bakersfield.  I was surrounded by my family and having a blast!  We were all laughing and talking, I was playing and wrestling with my nieces and nephews, hugging grandparents, talking to my siblings and cousins, and best of all, my dad was there with us which made my mom’s face glow with the brightest light ever.  Inside of the house, I observed myself as a very happy teenage girl.  As the dream would go on, I would somehow find myself walking outside the front door.  As soon as I would take one step out of the house, I would become lost.  The outside was not the front yard of our house, and I would have no idea where I was, and naturally, I could feel my heart break.  I would search and search for something I recognized or someone I knew, and I would never be able to find what I was looking for.  The dream would always end here.  After about a year of living in the east bay, the dream stopped.  To me, the dream symbolizes me feeling lost in the new world I lived in.  I had to get used to not always having my whole entire family around, and once I did, my heart wasn’t so broken.  I became very close to my wonderful parents and amazing younger brother.  Of course I still missed the rest of my family, but we were only a four hour drive apart and were able to see each other often.  Even now, being in college, I still miss my family, but no matter what, they are always close to my heart, and in the end, they helped me find what I was looking for.

For the Love of Sisterhood

Why do we stay in the circumstances we are, even when we are unhappy? While this happens in both our professional and personal lives, I feel as though it particularly applies to myself in my personal life. As the current president of my sorority, I hold a position where my every action is being watched and monitored and I influence a group of over 90 women. While I now love this job, and can’t imagine my life without it, this was not always a position I imagined, much less saw myself holding.

First off, I obtained the position under extremely awkward circumstances. One of my closest friends and my chapter’s president resigned from the position, leaving us without a president, mid semester.  Out of nowhere, I went from having a smaller, mellow position, to running for president. I had a lot to consider. I didn’t exactly hate the idea of being the leader of my sorority, but I didn’t really want or know how much responsibility it would actually entail.  I already had a job 5 days a week, and went to school full time, would I really be able to run an entire sorority too? I really didn’t have a choice. I ran for the position and now have almost completed my term, but another problem has come into play. Elections are coming up yet again, and I have decided to run for president, yet again.

            While I love my sisters I and have enjoyed being president, running and possibly getting the position again will have a lot of consequences both good and bad that I need to weigh out. By staying president, I will have to sacrifice yet another year of my college career spending time and energy on sorority issues. I will more than likely spend at least another semester as a part time student, and even potentially have to cut back hours at my job. Also, I have considered transferring, and if I become president for yet another year, I will feel horrible leaving my chapter in the middle of the semester, completely out of the blue. I can’t leave the chapter for many reasons. First off, this is not only a professional job, but more importantly a large part of my social life. By abandoning the sorority, I feel I will upset so many of my friends and more than likely break many close ties. Even though they are my friends, and should stand by me and support me, they would be upset with me, especially because they know I have seen the craziness that went on with the chapter when our previous president too, dropped out of the position. Secondly, I am not a quitter. I have never been one to start a job and never finish it, so now, as I run for the position I know that I will have to stick through it all the way, no matter how stressing and overwhelming it may be.  The upside to continuing my presidency is that it gives me the special bond that I have with my sisters.  I love each of my sisters with all of my heart, and they have helped me get through many tough times in my life and helped me reached many of my goals.  They are the people I go to when I have nowhere else to go.  I cry with them, laugh with them, and they stand by me through all my success and failures.  They are similar to my family, and without them, I would not be where I am today.  For this reason, I feel obligated to stay in the position that I am in.  My present position as President and I, in a way ,have a love hate relationship.  I do not necessarily hate my position, but it is a burden on my life; I love it because I know it helps my sisters to be proud and comfortable knowing that the chapter is in good hands. Even though, at times, the position can be straining, I have been shown a different side and appreciation for my sorority.

            In the end, the sacrifices I have had to make are worth the happiness and joy my sisters bring me, and this is why I continue my job as President.