Change

When I was fourteen years old, going into my sophomore year of high school, my dad received a job offer that essentially changed my life.  I had lived in Bakersfield, California all of my life.  My entire family still resides there, and when I saw entire, I mean everyone from my two older siblings, nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and close family friends.  My dad had traveled for his work and was sometimes gone for weeks at a time and as we, my siblings and I, got older, it became harder and harder for him to leave us.  He and my mom finally decided that he should quit this job and look for another with a different company, but shortly after giving his six month notice, his boss gave him a job offer he couldn’t resist.  He offered him a raise, a Vice President position of the company, and the best of all was that my dad wouldn’t have to travel nearly as often; all my dad had to do to make this offer work was move our family to East Bay area of California.  My parents decided this was the best decision for our family, and six months later, my parents, younger brother and I were on our way to San Ramon, which would become our new home.  My older siblings already had their own families and for this reason, they did not come with us.  I was devastated.  I had just finished my freshman year of high school and made new friends that I loved and had been so used to seeing my siblings, nieces and nephews, and grandparents on a daily basis, and my heart was broken. Soon after we had moved I began to have a re-occurring dream that always made me uneasy.  In this dream, I was in our house that we lived in while we were Bakersfield.  I was surrounded by my family and having a blast!  We were all laughing and talking, I was playing and wrestling with my nieces and nephews, hugging grandparents, talking to my siblings and cousins, and best of all, my dad was there with us which made my mom’s face glow with the brightest light ever.  Inside of the house, I observed myself as a very happy teenage girl.  As the dream would go on, I would somehow find myself walking outside the front door.  As soon as I would take one step out of the house, I would become lost.  The outside was not the front yard of our house, and I would have no idea where I was, and naturally, I could feel my heart break.  I would search and search for something I recognized or someone I knew, and I would never be able to find what I was looking for.  The dream would always end here.  After about a year of living in the east bay, the dream stopped.  To me, the dream symbolizes me feeling lost in the new world I lived in.  I had to get used to not always having my whole entire family around, and once I did, my heart wasn’t so broken.  I became very close to my wonderful parents and amazing younger brother.  Of course I still missed the rest of my family, but we were only a four hour drive apart and were able to see each other often.  Even now, being in college, I still miss my family, but no matter what, they are always close to my heart, and in the end, they helped me find what I was looking for.